I was browsing through Google images today because I had nothing better to waste my time on and I noticed some pictures of children living in places like Africa. Or as the phrase now goes the ‘LEDCs’.
It wasn’t a particularly sad picture. They weren’t miserable or anything… They were just living their everyday life, which frankly, was somewhat astounding.
I saw their faces and I saw their eyes and I suddenly felt myself dive into a world I knew I wasn’t a part of. A world that was surrounded by chaos. I couldn’t think. I could’t look them in the eye. It was just a picture, I know, but still.
I’m not sorry for them. I don’t know why. Is it inhuman of me? Is it inhuman of me to look at the children and not feel sorry for the type of conditions the children have been brought up in? But I just couldn’t feel sorry for them.
In fact, I felt sorry for myself and who I am. Is that selfish of me? I don’t know if it is. The child that I saw may or may not be perfectly happy, or he may or may not have the best conditions to grow up in and I know that and even when I’ve heard stories about people having to walk miles for some clean water, I complain about my petty everyday problems like its Armageddon. I’ve become the person that I once used to hate. And I feel sorry for myself.
It just brings me to wonder how ungrateful I am being right now. The other day I didn’t want to go to college because I didn’t feel like it. I did go in the end. My friend forced me with very painful emotional blackmail. But she was right. I should go to college not because I will learn something from it. Not because I am going to meet my friends. Not because I’m going to pass my course but because I can. I can go to college. When others can’t.
Perspective. It’s quite eye-opening when you think about it.
And there are a lot of things I should get perspective on. (The first being the fact that the whole world doesn’t revolve around me and all my selfish problems.) But I also know that I can’t do a lot about the problems… I won’t be able to change the situation in Africa. I don’t think the situation is mine to change. That said, I can still play my part. I can do something so that I don’t look like I’m some kind of Shakespearean shrew.
I can get a sense of perspective.
Told you I was right.
Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2012 20:36:08 +0000 To: hannah_cdeere@hotmail.co.uk