A lot of people that know me know very well that I don’t refrain from asking personal questions. In fact, I have non existent social boundaries. Often times, when I am discussing sexual preferences with my male friends, I tend to always question their sexuality… mainly because I want to get to know them and also because it’s something that is very fascinating to think about. What exactly is sexuality, and how does it affect people?
So we are usually talking, and mid conversation, I might just say, I don’t know what you like… I don’t know if you prefer men to women. And that’s a fair point! You never know. I would rather doubt a sexuality before convincing myself someone is sexually oriented to men because I’ve done that before that that has been very awkward. ( He still won’t talk to me.)
I’ve always found that men take a very sensitive approach to this topic. It’s like an allergic reaction. If you tell a man he might be gay, I’ve always found they give you back this look that says “you doubting my masculinity?”
And my question is, why does being gay make you less masculine? It doesn’t make sense. To be honest, neither do concepts like masculinity… but for the sake of flow we will just go with it. I understand the social connotations with being gay can be interpreted negatively by men especially since groups of men quite literally take the mick… and that can be quite scary and condition you to not ever want to be gay…
…but all of the above seem to me like defence mechanisms. However, if we think clearly for a bit, being gay openly is a sign of courage and pride, something traditionally associated with the concept of masculinity. So if you ask me, I find it more respectful and manly ( so to speak) to be gay and proud than hide away… in my personal opinion, other than obvious physical differences, a personality shouldn’t be associated as being masculine and feminine… it’s puts people in a position where they might make a choice based on social opinion which they might not see themselves as. Shouldn’t we be encouraging people to be what they want to be?
I just don’t get why it’s a big deal anyway. Whatever you do inside your bedroom is entirely your decision and no one elses business any way!