Procrastination Loop

I’m not usually a procrastinator. I’m the kind of person that gets on with things regardless of its difficulty or standard. I’m not brilliant but I’m usually aware of whats going on. What I need to do and how I need to do it are mind processes I’m constantly running. Or at least, I used to be able to do that at college.

I’ve had a hard time adjusting to university workload. I’m okay with living by myself. I’m fine with that. Cooking is one of the ways I cope with stressful life. But you know, because there isn’t really enough time to cope with everything, I get stressed out that I’m spending too much time cooking and achieve really nothing at all. I mean, I told myself I’d blog once a week and I can’t even stick to that!

One of the other major disadvantage is that I’m working in limited budget… Back in college I was at the library for hours at a time but I can’t do that as much at university because I don’t have the spare cash to keep buying dinners from outside. So I’ve got to come home to cook something. By the time I’m done with all that – do I really want to go back? But if I’m in the room at home, I don’t like feeling cold so I usually end up on the bed with all the books around me and then fall asleep! There’s just no win here… And I could tell myself to stay at the desk but it’s just so cold and horrible that I’m never really motivated to do so…

And I’ve found myself turn into someone I wouldn’t usually be! I’ve started procrastinating because I have a lot to do and when I actually get on to do it, I can’t do the problems so I’m demotivated to carry on. It’s an endless cycle! I’ve no idea how I’m going to do everything.

So what do I do?

Well for one, I’m going to get some routine back into my life because I function well with it. And I’m going to keep my goals SMART (That stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound) (Which is basically everything I never do anyway. Most of my goals are big – I’ll finish the entire chapter of maths, and then the entire chapter of thermodynamics at 10 in the night because sleep is for the weak!)

I mean, okay, that sort of worked during A-Levels but I’m on a whole new battlefield here and I don’t have the time to mess around.

The other thing I’m going to do, and this finally hammered in after a lot of lecturing, is stick to the pace of a marathon and not a sprint. It’s metaphoric off course… but basically that means all-nighters are not the answer (much to my disappointment).

With that folks, onto week three!

PS: I should totally be doing my lab report right now. Do you see what I mean?! I’m useless.

Starting my Journey

This post is adding to a series of posts that I particularly like discussing on this blog. In a short summary for my new readers, I’ve a philosophy that we should make our own purpose in life. It follows from the idea that there are many different things that people can do with their lives but it is incredibly important for me that I do something that I enjoy doing. I believe that if you chose vaguely what your main purpose in life is, that may be, for instance, to help people, then it doesn’t matter what you do as a career/ day-to-day activity. My personal aim is to make a difference in the world. A quick word about “difference” though, It doesn’t particularly matter to me how big my difference is or what field I’m in as long as I’m improving lives in some way.

One of the reasons I was incredibly excited to turn 18 in January this year was because I felt like it was a good age to get started on my path. I had big aspirations of entering university and getting involved with my purpose straight away. My dream, for the moment, is to develop lives in underdeveloped countries using innovative engineering. So, I joined a society that did exactly that. Although the time and effort required for the project haunts me a little, as it is a constant struggle to balance social activity with work, ever since I attended my first meeting I have felt incredibly good. After a long time, everything was exciting and inspiring. I learned about how Equinox (society name) have developed innovative ways to distribute renewable energy to remote areas of underdeveloped areas in Africa and nothing lifted my spirits more than to find the limitless possibilities of my own future.

It was at that meeting I came up with a rather apt description to my attitude: I am my own opportunity. I hope you can see what I mean by this… it simply means I can be whatever I want to be and go wherever I want to go because the only thing stopping me from doing that is me. So keeping the spirits high, I’ve also signed up for being the year representative of my course. In spite of being fearful of the prospect of not receiving any votes and/or becoming a joke in my course, I took the opportunity anyway because I realised that I would never know what the outcome was if I never tried and personally it’s better to try and fail than never give anything a go.

What university means to me…

So I’ve been bombarded with information today. I’m talking a full on explosion situation here… there was a lecture after lecture and all one could do was sit through it. It wasn’t even interesting physics and maths stuff, it was just stuff like “well done”, “work hard”, “join clubs”, “don’t cause fires”… so you can imagine it was a bit of a drag. That said, towards the end we got a chance to start a group project and also have a little welcome drink with our department so that was good.  

I was a little taken aback by the information though. A lot of the time I felt under attack by the lecturers. They had a deceptively nice way of showing cold hard facts at our faces. I soon found that I was going to have to work hard and pull myself together or I wouldn’t last here at all. It wasn’t like school… It was more of a training camp.

Listening to that was a little heart breaking…especially on my first day of term. Was I going to have fun these few years or no? It was during the lectures this morning that I realised that I was actually worrying far too much. I shouldn’t really be scared by the amount of work I had to do. That’s not something I should be scared about. I should be scared about global warming, deforestation and nuclear wars and as an aspiring engineer it should be my objective to sort it out. Suddenly I started to get excited. I felt like I didn’t have to wait until after university to make my life worthwhile (which is my life aspiration by the way). I could start now. A degree in mechanical engineering is a way for me to change lives… 

I changed a little bit of perspective and before I knew it… I wasn’t scared of the challenges that I was about to face. I was excited! I was finally taking an active part in changing the future and that’s inspiring for me. I also realised I could take part in other ways – becoming a volunteer at a school for example or getting involved with engineering projects that lead to development in this world.

Suddenly, there was a sea of opportunities beyond me… I was motivated again. Over the past week going to university has been about getting through the academic stuff and lasting on the course. Well, a little bit of passion and self-motivation goes a long way and I’m so glad to have it back. Trust me, getting up to go to lectures in the morning is a whole lot easier and effective if you actually want to!

Getting Ready to Mingle

Get this – I’m currently sitting at my desk in a Victorian house in the middle of South Kensington sipping green tea out of a mug and I can’t even believe it. Yesterday morning I was dropped off here by my family. It was only then that I started to accept that I was leaving home. I am now living by myself. I’m going to university…

Shit. When did this happen?

I was so happy with the room I had been allocated even though I was a little nervous of living with someone else. It seemed like I was going to have to adjust a lot. I lived in the same room as my sister back at home but it’s not the same because you can boss sisters out of the room when you want friends over but you can’t ask your international roommate to skedaddle out of her own room. Oh well, it’s going to be alright. Hopefully we are friends J

An incredibly overwhelming feeling occurred inside of me as I was walking through the streets of London with my mum and my sister. I was showing them the area around my university in particular the pubs where I’d have most of my pub crawls. (Kidding! I’m totally going to be studying 24/7 *wink*) Somehow I felt proud to be so independent. I felt proud to show my family that I could take care of myself and I was ready to fly. It was just amazing.

Meeting my flat mates was simply awesome. I met so many cool people last night and we just “mingled” (Yep. Totally British.) We chilled around the corridor, in the kitchen, in the common room, on the stairs, in the room, at the “mingle” party and just everywhere. I guess it’s safe to say I had no table tennis and dancing skills…but apart from that, I think I was totally owning the “mingling” thing. At least trying to… although I think there’s a guy in my corridor that’s scared of me.

For the second time in my life I felt I was around so many people that were like me. The first time I felt this was when I was at an engineering residential in this college a summer ago. I felt like there was no judgement for my no-makeup, nerdy, harry potter geek attitude… Last night I met two people that rocked the party. I’ve only met a few people that can dance the night away without alcohol and I had a blast and I was running on shots of water like a total hard core.

So yea, university life… that’s looking good so far. And I guess it will continue to be like this until the work kicks in. However, I’m starting to feel ready for work. You can’t have too much of a good thing and I think I’m ready to push myself. I’ve come so far and I’ve so much to do – So It’s futile being scared and worried because it’s happening. I might as well sit back, buckle up and ace it.

Quote of the week…


This has been the quote of the week for me. I have loved living every part of this week…even if it is just because of something like drunk karaoke or pyjama Saturdays. Meeting a religious enthusiast in the middle of the Kingston High street and spontaneously starting a debate about God has been the highlight of the week. I was trying my best to give a non offensive diplomatic response to “did man make God or did God make man”. By the way if it does interest you to know, my answer would be that one can’t prove or disprove belief or faith but if faith keeps you happy then keep at it. In other words, man made up the concept of God but if that belief helps you cope with life, then I am no one to stop you from believing it. This off course is completely irrelevant but having the debate was quite fun and I hope it stirs up some opinions!

Actually the main reason I think this is the quote of the week is because I’ve noticed so many people I know have left to start their own lives. Soon, I will be leaving my friends and family too. So I guess I want to embrace these few moments with them because I know this time won’t come again. That’s not a negative fact by the way, it’s just a mere fact of life.

So I thought… Hey why the hell not just live a little…life is going to start soon and I’m going to be sucked into an endless pile of workload. So, screw it, I’m going to have fun these few weeks xD.

University Preparation

It’s a very exciting time for me right now. Many of my friends are packing to move out, in fact, one of my close friends has moved into university today. I’ve been meeting up with people all month to try to catch a final glimpse of them before they settle at their respective universities all over the United Kingdom. I’ve friends going to Durham, Bath, Oxbridge, Loughborough, UCL, Exeter and many more.

As well as the socialising, university preparation has been ongoing. I’ve been shopping for things like stationary, clothes, living materials and kitchen equipment for a long time. There’s still a final IKEA trip to organise for everyone’s things which we should hopefully do this week. There are things to buy and stuff to do and responsibilities like pre-reading and paperwork on our heads. Is this the start of a very different lifestyle?

If there’s one thing that has stood out the most it has been the importance of money. I’ve had to calculate a lot of financial information regarding the student loan I’ll be receiving and the money I will have during my course and what I found is that it’s not very much. Budgeting is now a big part of my life. I’ve come to the point where I don’t buy anything until I’ve cross checked it with three other stores and I don’t shop unnecessarily. I’ve even started an accounts page where I note down everything I spend. EBay is now my best friend because I’ve realised that university is an expensive place. My family always told me to spend wisely but I guess, selfish as it is, I never really understood the value of that until now because I was living under my parents roof and had the bank of mum and dad. Now I don’t have anything except a small loan I’ll have to live on and that changes a lot of things. 

I’d just like to say I dislike the “system” and any restrictions on life because of money immediately turn me into a grumpy ferocious animal. I don’t like money and I don’t like the way it affects people and if I had it my way I would live without it any day. However the unfortunate thing about being against the system as opposed to say eating meat is that it’s not something you can avoid on a daily basis. I don’t like the system but I live in it so I’m sort of stuck in mud here. So in a way the budgeting is a good thing because I don’t want money affecting me in the future when I’m living by myself. It’s a really good experience for anyone really - learn how to live on nothing and you shall find yourself living happily… 


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